feel like talking but i dunno who to talk to . feel like writing down my feelings but i just dunno where to write them down. having finals tomorrow yet im still in this fcking mood. some memories stroke me in my mind and affected my mood. was lying on my bed and recalled some memories i used to own. i just dont understand, why all that happened.  i was once a girl who can fall for others easily. what's happening to me now? did i lost interest in guys? or should i just go for woman? (LOL). i hate how memories come back and leave once in a while. i feel like wiping off all the memories but i cant. i did a lot for him, and obviously, i got nothing in return. he's with a new girl now. seems to be really happy, idk. all i know is what i did wasn't paid off. i sacrificed for the wrong thing, wasted time for the wrong person. used to skip class for him, telling him that "oh, my class ended earlier" just to see him. now im thinking, "oh maggie you're such a fool". did that stupid video, used my whold day, just for that video, and what now? maybe he had already deleted the video. it's okay. made a bottle of notes for him, wishing him luck in STPM. what a fool am i. but i kept one of the notes and it's still with me now. " it's never easy to be with you". i kept it, for the sake of make sure he wont feel bad for what he did. im such a fool.

 maybe i just meant to be like since i was born. and i dont like myself seriously.
-the enamoured-